Thats him

I met him 6 years ago. That time I didnt knew he would mean so much to me, we were just random people who just knew each other by name. As we spent some time together I realised what he actually meant to me. At that point of time I didnt know about feelings, love, attachment. I didnt knew what was happening to me, though he wasnt this smart and dream boy types, I still had this really beautiful feeling for him. I dont think I will be able to meet a person like him with such a lovely heart. I loved him completely from my heart and soul, but I didnt have the courage to tell him. I was scared of loosing him as a friend, I was scared that he was elder to me so will it ever work out between us, I was scared of loosing him.
Finally after a year my friend boosted me up, gave me the courage to tell him. But still I was so scared that I just didnt know how to tackle with it but my crazy friend went up to him and told him. That was the time when it all started he got to know. Everything changed completely there was this awkwardness between us now, this kind of formal way of talking, this kind of serious way. I changed myself completely from this crazy, idiotic person to someone who was now really serious about life. Things that I didnt wanted happened. For the first time in life I felt so strongly for someone but there it was my first love was incomplete. I did stuff that I hated the most just for him. You can say I was this crazy lover, mad for a person for 6 years and I think I cannot ever take him out of my heart. He respected my feelings alot thats was the best part about him and even I think he was'nt at fault you could my first love was meant to be incomplete. The feeling of being broken took over me. And till now if I see him anywhere I do get the same old butterflies though now we dont talk. We have lost contact completely, I did try contacting him but he just didnt wanted to be in contact with me. And thats when I decided to be strong enough to ignore him as well. I didnt even try contacting him for a year and there it was my feelings, my love all was taken away by him. Till date I dont think I can love someone the way I loved him.
Maybe he was never mine but he will always hold a special place in my heart.